The Advice I Never Asked But Learned To Love

I am not above confessing that I am not one of those spectacularly aggravating people who ask for advice and genuinely want to hear the feedack, but then swiftly ignore the whole thing, usually opting for whatever stupid plan I had in my mind all along anyway. Now that's not because I am completely careless of the thoughts and opinions of others- I think, generally, it's simply that, I use those sentiments to help dissect what I really think of something. To help me really figure it out, whatever 'it' happens to be.

This may be the precise reason why, some of the best advice I've ever received was unasked for, given more like a casual, unexpected gift, rather than a forwarning, lesson or consultation. For me, the best advice isn't the stuff that just happens to sound nice (like everyone else, I have a Pinterest board for that,wink!) It's the prescription that helps me think, rethink, and best of all learn.

On Not Taking Everything Personally

Learn to ditinguish what's a 'you' problem from a 'them' problem.

People encounter a life we often aren't privy to- they wake up angry to non-pin pointable reason, they are leaping mental health hurdles, they have family stress, they are overworked and unmotivated or understimulated, or other times they're just plain nasty because that's their default mode and these things sometimes cascade into the world around them. A ricochet of aimless tension. This slant in perspective helped me stop concluding that every short email or noxious tone was because of some vast shortcoming on my part. In most cases, the root of the problem is far from related to me-even if they feel obligatory to the everyday empath.

On Love. Remember to say 'thank you'

I've never received more unasked advice than when I got married, including a truck ton of cliches like dont'go to bed angry, or don't say things when you are angry- you know, all that means well, but does not actually always apply in real life situations. The one slice I did hang on to though, was...learn to always say 'thank you'. Say thank you for the big things sure, but for the little everyday things.

Two people tend to habitually take on certain tasks that end up being invisible to the other person. Making doctors appointment, vet visits, setting up bills on autopay, taking the trash out. The monotony of doing things over and over and over again without appreciation or acknowledgement is where resentment lurks.

On Descernment

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. That pretty much says it all.

On Life In General

Lastly, but not leastly. Your life is as good as your mindset.

A good mindset is everything. Our beliefs and habits are often hidden from us, but these are two of the things that have great influence over our thoughts. Your thoughts influence your actions. Increasing or altering your knowledge in many areas can have a huge impact on your well-being. If you view yourself or the world doifferently, your thoughts will change. Having a positive mindset about things and how you react to things can greatly impact the way you live your life.

What is the best advice you ever received without ever asking for it?

XOXO,

Karen